A Conflict of Interest

By U SHWE YOE

The barber has a new customer—a rather talkative and argumentative old man. He complains loudly about everything as the barber cuts his hair. U Toke Kyi sits on the bench, half-reading his newspaper and half-listening to the old man ranting.

When he had finally stopped moaning about UN envoy Gambari and his work for dictators in Nigeria, U Toke Kyi decided to throw a spanner into the works.

“So, who do you want to be the next president of the US?” he asked.

The barber quickly interrupted: “I support Obama. I think the world needs a break from US foreign policy.”

The old man was silent for a moment. When he realized that the other men were waiting for him he sighed: “I will support John McCain. I believe he’ll drop bombs on Naypyidaw!”

The barber laughed: “That’ll be the day. Do you really think the Republicans are going to get involved with Burma? Nothing happened during the Bush years. Just a lot of talk and promises.”

“I think Obama will do a good job,” nodded U Toke Kyi.

The old man mumbled: “Maybe democracy isn’t such a great thing.”

“What!?” exclaimed U Toke Kyi, astonished.

“Well, look at Thailand,” gestured the old man. “Democracy doesn’t work in Thailand. Why should it work here?”

U Toke Kyi rustled his newspaper as he turned the pages. “I wish those anti-government supporters in Bangkok would go to Washington. Help overthrow the Bush regime.”

“Perhaps take over the White House and refuse to leave,” smiled the barber.

“I heard that the Democrats want to put Bush and Cheney on trial for war crimes and conflicts of interest,” U Toke Kyi said.

“What conflicts of interest?” asked the old man. “Haliburton? Oil pipelines? War profiteering?”

“No. Those aren’t serious conflicts of interest anyway,” U Toke Kyi said, grinning. “Certainly not as serious as appearing on a cookery show on TV.”