Running in the Wrong Direction

By SHWE YOE

As the barber busied himself in his sunlit shop on a cool January morning, a customer stepped in, looked cautiously around and greeted him with a hushed "Happy New Year, sir."

The barber looked up with surprise, recognizing a familiar figure. "Hey," he said warmly. "I'm very happy to see you. I thought you were behind bars.”

The customer settled himself back in the chair and confided to the barber: "I’m on the run. I’ll have to leave Rangoon very soon, perhaps for Mae Sot very soon."

The barber nodded: "This is certainly the right time to go to Mae Sot. I wouldn’t wait too long, either.”

The man in the chair was puzzled. “And why’s that?” he asked.

The barber smiled in his usual ironic way and replied: "The border-based oppositions are planning to form a new government."

"So what’s new about that?” said his customer. “Everybody knows that. They’ve been trying to form a government-in-exile for nearly 20 years. And they’re still trying. I can’t see anything happening.”

“You’re right,” said the barber. “Whenever I hear exiled PM Sein Win of the National Coalition Government of the Union of Burma on the radio, I nearly fall asleep. His leadership—even his voice—is so boring. He is not like his cousin, Aung San Suu Kyi.

“That's why that other leading umbrella organization, the National Council of the Union of Burma, announced on New Year’s Day that it will form a parallel government as part of its action plan for 2009."

The customer broke in: "Well, there’s nothing intrinsically wrong with that idea. But some sources at border say it hasn’t got the consensus agreement of the organization.

“They don't much like the NCUB’s secretary-general, Maung Maung. They said he didn’t even inform all concerned parties before issuing the New Year statement."

The barber put in: "But Karen leaders give him their support now. Maybe Shan leaders will follow if he is a good power broker. I think Maung Maung can promise to share power with the ethnic opposition. He’s quite a workaholic and devoted to overthrowing the regime. A real James Bond of a man—the only one who could bomb and destroy Naypyidaw.”

"You’re right there,” agreed the customer. "He’s very secretive and accompanied by bodyguards. He claims Than Shwe has sent assassins to kill him and other political leaders.

“He might buy votes from some of the opposition, but he can't buy all stakeholders. In September 2007, at the height of the Saffron Revolution, Maung Maung upset many exile activists when he took credit for the monk-led uprising. I am sure he can't win the voters' hearts."

The barber finally got to the point: "That's why I told you that you shouldn't wait too long to go the border. You could be the new prime minister. Who knows?"

The customer smiled. "And join a sinking ship? I’d sooner return to my colleagues in prison."